Deciding to seek psychological help is a brave step — sometimes even the very first one toward healing and change. But as soon as that decision is made, a new challenge arises: how do you find the right person for such a deeply personal process?

The right therapist can make all the difference — not only in how understood and supported you feel, but also in how effective the therapy becomes.

In this article, we’ll look at the key factors that influence therapeutic success, how to find the right therapist for you, and what to do if something doesn’t quite feel right yet.

1. The Most Important Factor: The Therapeutic Relationship

Finding the right therapist: numerous psychological studies have shown that the relationship between therapist and client is one of the strongest predictors of therapy success — often even more important than the chosen method or technique.

American psychotherapy researcher Bruce Wampold (2001) found that up to 30% of therapy success can be attributed to the quality of the therapeutic relationship. This means: whether it’s cognitive-behavioral therapy, depth psychology, or systemic counseling — what truly matters is how safe and comfortable you feel.

The key numbers at a glance:

• 40% of therapy success depends on extratherapeutic factors such as social support and life circumstances (Michael J. Lambert, 1992).
• 30% is attributed to the relationship factor — the quality of the therapeutic alliance.
• 15% comes from expectations and placebo effects.
• Another 15% is due to specific methods or techniques.

In other words: the therapeutic relationship accounts for about one-third of therapy success — making it the single most powerful factor within the process itself.

Signs of a strong therapeutic relationship:

• You feel understood and taken seriously.
• Your therapist listens actively and without judgment.
• You can express doubts, criticism, and your own thoughts.
• You feel like you’re working with your therapist, not being directed.
• You can bring up difficult or embarrassing topics safely.

Therapy isn’t a monologue — it’s a dialogue. A space where trust grows. And that trust is the foundation of healing.

2. Interventions vs. Relationship — What Really Works?

In psychotherapy research, experts often refer to “common factors” — the shared elements that make therapy effective across different schools of thought.

Besides the relationship itself, these include:

• Hope and expectation (believing that change is possible)
• Self-efficacy (feeling capable of influencing your own life)
• Emotional activation (connecting with feelings, insights, and motivation)
• Structure and goal orientation

Of course, specific methods and techniques are also important. But no matter how advanced an intervention may be — without a strong therapeutic bond, even the best tools lose their power.

3. Key Criteria When Choosing a Therapist

1. Specialization and Qualification

In Austria, Germany, and Switzerland, professional titles are legally protected. Make sure your future therapist has completed an accredited, state-recognized training.

• Clinical psychologists / psychotherapists: qualified to diagnose and treat mental health conditions.
• Counselors / coaches: focus on personal development and life issues, not clinical disorders.
• Psychiatrists: medical doctors specializing in mental health, often combining medication and therapy.

Also, ask about their therapeutic approach — e.g., cognitive-behavioral, systemic, person-centered, or Gestalt therapy. Each method has its own focus.
Some people prefer structured, goal-oriented work; others value emotional depth and self-discovery.

2. Personal Fit

Therapy is deeply personal. Beyond qualifications, it’s essential that you feel comfortable on a human level.

Ask yourself after the first few sessions:

• Do I feel understood and safe?
• Can I talk about shame, anger, or vulnerability?
• Does my therapist see me — not just my symptoms?
• Do I feel respected, even if we disagree?

If after three or four sessions the connection doesn’t feel right, you can talk about it openly or look for another therapist. That’s not failure — it’s self-care.

3. Practical Factors

• Location & accessibility: In-person or online? How far is the office?
• Costs & insurance: Are sessions partially reimbursed by health insurance?
• Frequency: Weekly or biweekly appointments?
• Specializations: Does the therapist focus on specific topics (trauma, depression, burnout, couples therapy)?

These practical details can make a big difference in how sustainable therapy is for you.

4. First Impressions Matter — And Can Change Over Time

The first session can feel nerve-wracking. You may not know what to expect and might feel vulnerable or unsure — and that’s completely normal.

Use the initial meetings to see whether you feel emotionally safe. Remember:

• Trust takes time to grow.
• Not every challenging moment means it’s the wrong fit.
• However, if you consistently feel dismissed, judged, or uncomfortable — that’s a red flag.

Therapy should be a space for growth, not one where you have to shrink yourself to fit.

5. When It Doesn’t (Yet) Feel Right

Finding the right therapist: Not every therapeutic relationship is a perfect match — and that’s okay. Some people find the right therapist immediately; others need to try a few.

If you’re unsure:

• Bring up your discomfort — sometimes that conversation clears things up.
• Ask for a shared reflection: “How do we feel about our collaboration so far?”
• If you decide to switch, it can be helpful to close the process together.

A good therapist won’t take it personally. They’ll respect that this is about your wellbeing, not their ego.

6. Online vs. In-Person Therapy

Online therapy has become increasingly popular, especially in recent years. Video, audio, or chat sessions open new possibilities — especially for people who live in remote areas or feel safer in their home environment.

Studies (e.g., Andersson et al., 2014) show that online therapy can be just as effective as traditional face-to-face sessions — provided that the therapeutic relationship remains strong.

Benefits:

• Flexibility and independence from location
• Lower threshold to start
• Option to prepare thoughts in writing

Empathy and connection can absolutely be felt through a screen — it’s the quality of presence, not the medium, that matters.

7. The Role of Personality

Your own personality influences which kind of therapist and approach will suit you best. Analytical thinkers may benefit from structured methods, while creative or emotionally driven individuals often thrive in experiential settings.

Therapy should feel right — it’s not a one-size-fits-all product but a unique, human encounter.

8. Therapy Is Cooperation, Not Consumption

Therapy works not because someone “does something” to you, but because you work together toward change. This is known as the therapeutic alliance — a shared understanding of goals, tasks, and relationship.

The more actively you participate, the more you’ll benefit. This sense of collaboration fosters responsibility and helps integrate insights into daily life.

9. When Psychological Therapy Is Especially Helpful

Therapy can be valuable in many life situations — not just when there’s a diagnosis. It supports people dealing with:

• Depression, anxiety, trauma
• Relationship and family conflicts
• Life crises, professional stress, burnout
• Identity questions and personal growth

Even if you “just” feel that something isn’t quite right, therapy can help you explore and understand it.

10. Conclusion: The Journey Is Worth It

Finding the right therapist can take time — but it’s one of the most important investments you’ll ever make. Trust your instincts. Do your research, ask questions, try things out. Remember: it’s not about finding the perfect therapist, but about finding someone you can grow with.

When you feel seen and understood, healing can begin. And sometimes, that moment — when you realize you’re truly being heard — marks the start of a new and transformative chapter.

Would you like to begin that journey together? Let’s talk about it in a free initial session.

References:

• Wampold, B. E. (2001). The Great Psychotherapy Debate. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
• Lambert, M. J. & Barley, D. E. (2001). Research summary on the therapeutic relationship and psychotherapy outcome. Psychotherapy, 38(4), 357–361.
• Andersson, G., Cuijpers, P., Carlbring, P., et al. (2014). Guided Internet-based vs. face-to-face cognitive behavior therapy. World Psychiatry, 13(3), 288–295.
• Norcross, J. C. & Lambert, M. J. (2018). Psychotherapy relationships that work. Oxford University Press.
• Lambert, M. J. (1992). Psychotherapy outcome research: Implications for integrative and eclectic therapists. In J. Norcross & M. Goldfried (Eds.), Handbook of psychotherapy integration.
• Norcross, J. C., & Wampold, B. E. (2011). Evidence-based therapy relationships. APA Press.