Therapy is often seen as something that is supposed to help. People start therapy with hope, sometimes with desperation, often with both. But what happens when doubts arise after weeks or months? When dissatisfaction, frustration, or even disappointment begin to surface? When you start asking yourself: Is this therapy actually helping me? Or even harder: Am I doing something wrong?

Doubts about your own therapy process are not only common — they are a central part of any deep inner work. And yet, we rarely talk about them openly. This article aims to do exactly that: to take doubt and criticism seriously without prematurely devaluing therapy itself — while also encouraging you to consciously stay with the process or, if needed, to begin again.

Doubt in Therapy: A Taboo Topic

Many people assume therapy should be linear: you start, gain insight, feel better, and move forward. Reality is often very different. Therapy is rarely a straight line. It is a process with highs, lows, plateaus, and sometimes even setbacks.

Doubt can show up in many ways:

• “I feel worse after sessions than before.”
• “We keep talking about the same things over and over.”
• “My therapist doesn’t really understand me.”
• “Others seem to make progress — I don’t.”
• “Maybe I’m resistant to therapy.”

These thoughts can be deeply unsettling. Some people talk about them openly. Others swallow them. And some quietly drop out of therapy without fully understanding why.

Criticism of Therapy Is Not Failure

One important thing right away: Doubts about therapy processes do not mean therapy has failed. On the contrary, criticism often signals that something internally is moving.

Therapy is challenging. It brings old patterns, defense mechanisms, and inner conflicts to the surface. Exactly where things become uncomfortable, doubt often appears. The nervous system looks for escape routes — and one of those routes can be questioning the entire process.

That doesn’t mean every therapy is automatically good or that all criticism is “just resistance.” But it does mean that doubts deserve attention, not suppression.

Common Reasons for Doubt in Therapy

1. Expectations vs. Reality

Many people begin therapy hoping for quick relief. When that relief doesn’t come, disappointment sets in. What’s often overlooked is that symptoms or emotional distress can initially intensify.

2. Old Wounds Are Activated

Therapy often means facing what has long been avoided. That can be painful. Doubt then becomes a protective response: If I stop, I won’t have to feel this.

3. The Therapeutic Relationship

The therapeutic alliance is one of the strongest predictors of success. When misunderstandings, lack of resonance, or relational ruptures arise, the entire process can start to feel questionable.

4. Stagnation or Repetition

Sometimes therapy feels like going in circles. Topics keep resurfacing without noticeable change. This can feel frustrating and discouraging.

5. Doubt Turned Against the Self

Many people don’t criticize the therapy — they criticize themselves: I’m doing it wrong. I’m too complicated. I can’t be helped.

Stay or Leave? An Honest Question

One of the hardest questions is: Should I stay in therapy or not?

There is no universal answer. But there are markers that can help you decide consciously.

Staying May Be Helpful If…

• you fundamentally feel safe and respected despite doubts
• the process feels painful but meaningful
• your doubts are vague rather than clearly defined
• resistance appears precisely when emotional depth increases

In these cases, bringing doubts into therapy can become a turning point.

Starting Over May Be Helpful If…

• you consistently feel misunderstood or invalidated
• your feedback is ignored or minimized
• boundaries are repeatedly crossed
• you feel small, ashamed, or emotionally unsafe

Ending therapy in such cases is not failure — it is self-care.

Understanding Doubt as Part of Growth

In many therapeutic models, doubt is not seen as a disruption but as information. It signals inner reorganization. Old beliefs begin to loosen. This can feel destabilizing.

Many people later realize that the phase in which they most wanted to quit was, in hindsight, a critical turning point.

This doesn’t mean pushing through at all costs. But it invites curiosity:
What exactly am I doubting right now? The method? The relationship? My own capacity for change?

The Role of Personal Responsibility in Therapy

Therapy is not a passive process. Even though therapists hold responsibility, part of the work always lies with the client.

That includes:

• naming doubts
• asking questions
• expressing dissatisfaction
• setting boundaries

Voicing criticism is not an attack. It is an act of agency.

When You’ve Already Tried Multiple Therapies

It becomes especially difficult for people who have already started and ended several therapies. Thoughts like “Nothing works anyway” or “No one can help me” easily emerge.

This is exactly where pause is needed. Not every therapy fits every life phase. Not every method reaches every person. A new beginning can make sense — not despite doubt, but because of it.

Stay, Reflect, or Begin Again

Doubts about therapy processes: If you recognize yourself in this article, you are not alone. Doubt is not weakness. It is movement.

Your next step might be:

• staying, but with more honesty
• speaking up, instead of silently enduring
• starting over, with clearer needs and boundaries

Whatever you choose: let it be conscious — not driven by exhaustion or self-blame.

Therapy is not a perfect process. But it can be a living one. And sometimes, exactly where doubt becomes loud, a deeper layer begins. Let’s talk about it in a free initial session!

References:

Wampold, B. E. (2015). The Great Psychotherapy Debate: The Evidence for What Makes Psychotherapy Work. Routledge.

Norcross, J. C., & Lambert, M. J. (2019). Psychotherapy Relationships That Work: Evidence-Based Therapist Contributions. Oxford University Press.

Safran, J. D., & Muran, J. C. (2000). Negotiating the Therapeutic Alliance: A Relational Treatment Guide. Guilford Press.

Lambert, M. J. (2013). Bergin and Garfield’s Handbook of Psychotherapy and Behavior Change. Wiley.

Bohart, A. C., & Tallman, K. (2010). How Clients Make Therapy Work: The Process of Active Self-Healing. American Psychological Association.

Grawe, K. (2004). Psychological Therapy. Hogrefe.

American Psychological Association. (2017). Clinical Practice Guideline for the Treatment of Mental Disorders.

Castonguay, L. G., & Hill, C. E. (Eds.). (2017). How and Why Are Some Therapists Better Than Others? APA.